shit
word
feeli

why is living so fucking hard

Time Spent- 7m
14 Visitors

ive been feeling like shit since school started. I hate everysingle little thing that fuckiing exists. I cant help but lash out at the people im suppost to ''love''. I started to hate that word, i dont understand what its suppost to feel like.


Ive had ok family, good friends i guess, i hate seeing different sides of people that arent to what i think they should act, i hate feeling like that because i know the person is really nice, but i just hate that one side. I cant tell them because im scared and i know its my fault, its my fault i thought of them that way and i just cant get it out of my head.


theres a voice stuck in my head that wont ever leave me alone, it burns a hole right through my brain and its like i cant breathe whenever i open my mouth and whenever i talk nothing comes out. I dont know how to talk to anyone anymore, i dont know what being compassionate and caring feels like or is suppost to feel


I hate living everyday knowing im an ant in a cage and want to know what if feels like to actually matter. I wake up to the same cycle for 12 years and it doesnt stop, i hate everyday life and it makes me wanna end it all but im too much of a pussy to do it



i cant focus on anything, i cant eat properly, i keep picking at my skin and ive cried more then i have last year, or at the start of this year.



i dont know whats wrong with me and i want to get help but i dont like bothering anyone, i know they have their own problems



i want to know what it feels like to be happy for longer then an hour.


i want to know that im loved, if you dont say it then i wont understand. please say it to my face, i dont know any other way.


i slap my face and my desk, everysingle little thing annoys me and it hurts. Why cant i stop it.



i know the world is beautiful, but the though of obtaining it drills me the ground, 6ft under. I want to know what fresh air feels like, what being a normal person feels like, takling normally and not worrying about little things that dont even fucking matter. I want to not worry for 1 second and go on with my life. i just want to be happy