I don't even know how to start. I have been married to my husband for 18 years. We have 2 beautiful children, 11 and 14. We have been through so much together and we have had wonderful times as well as hard times. He believes it has been more difficult than good. He has undealt with trauma from his youth and a controlling father that has never told him he is proud of him. I have many insecurities and have dealt with depression in my life, currently taking a low dose of meds. We have struggled with communication most of our marriage and my husband turns to alcohol for comfort. He wants to be done. I love him. I want healing for us. I am hurting so bad and I feel like I am losing my sanity. My son is starting to treat me badly and he says he hates me. I have prayed and asked God to heal us, but I feel abandoned by Him. How do I accept a divorce I do not want and move on successfully with life? I never thought I would be loved before I met him, and now I see I was right. Now I see it was a lie. I thought he loved me. I just have no hope.