I dont have access to weed, the people I know that do wont let me have some. This one guy I was friends with had pot all the time but when he bragged about being a rape baby I had to distance myself. So all that remains is the booze to take the edge off. I dont want to develop a problem but the medication is not cutting it. I feel terrified and stressed out every day and things are good. I have no stressors yet my body is still responding to the trauma all these years later.