okkkkk so my mom and i had a talk (not the talk talk) and it was mostly about how i think of myself and why i hate myself because i tear up everytime someone mentions this. I didnt even tell my mom everything that i think. I keep everything to myself maybe because im the only girl in my family besides my mom. But still i dont like to share things that will make my family worry. I would much prefer that people wouldnt worry over me. I dont understand why i hate myself so much. I am so lucky to have my parents and my siblings but i just cant bring myself to tell them anything. I act cocky around them just so they think everythings okay with me. I think if acting cocky it will make it seem like i have no insecurities or imperfections. Im still young but the beauty standard has already affected me. I want to be the skinny perfect girls that you see on social media. So yeah after the talk that me and my mom had (i didnt mention the things above to my mom) i would (and still do) pretend like it actually worked. Like it made my negative thoughts go away. But it didnt. Im still the same.