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Words hurt

People honestly don’t understand the extent of their words. I suffer from quite severe anxiety where I believe nobody likes me. I take 5 tablets a day for this. Recently I’ve been called so many hurtful names/words like back stabber, two faced, a horrible person, ungrateful etc. These words would hurt someone at the the best of times never mind someone who already lies awake at night wondering why nobody really likes them. Now I find myself crying. What’s worse is I feel even my family are avoiding me and judging me. Partly because every one of those names/words has came from family members. Now it’s my birthday and only half the amount showed up as last year, I feel this is because they all agree. So if some are willing to call me it to my face imagine what the rest are saying behind my back. I think what gets me the most is now I actually believe them.