It’s just been very stressful lately, that’s all it is. I only recently got used to seeing him every other weekend (Fri-Sun) and the moment I(/we) got used to it it had to be put on hold. We made it official before I had to suddenly leave to take care of my mother for two weeks during both our finals, and when I got back he had to leave for a summer job two states away. (Before either of us left or became official we made plans for me to come up, and I look forward to that. He actually initiated it). But we barely had time to talk while I was gone as we both had finals and I, as an extra bonus, was in another time zone and dealing with my sick mother. We’ve barely had time to talk and I don’t know when we’ll get that time back.I started overthinking my relationship with him (one that I wasn’t even close to an official month into) the moment I left, and I’m sure it was because of all the stress from the situation I was put in. Things that didn’t bother me before that I’ve come to accept or understand started to suddenly bother me. I started applying those new and uncharacteristic of stress to future situations and doubting the possible longevity of our relationship. Everything started to look like a red flag. It didn’t help that, because of all the moving around and new work, our communication is a bit strained at the moment.For now, I am anxious. I am still settling back into the flow of things. I feel especially lonely right now because I want my love next to me... to soothe me, make me laugh, hold me while I cry, cuddle in silence while we watch anime. Of course I miss him. Of course I’m anxious because I miss him. I love him. I’ve gone a year and a half not seeing him before and I handled it just fine, there is no real reason why, in a little less than three weeks, should I start suddenly getting insecure and worried and doubtful.I am slowly remembering how to be comfortable in the silence again. I am just stressed out right now. Nothing has changed; nothing is wrong.This is a note to start taking my bipolar medication again. I can tell this isn’t my normal, rational way of thinking. Sometimes I need a little extra help and that’s okay.