i can't even control my own emotions anymore. i say so many bad things to the ones i love the most. i cry through the screen while saying those things because i really didn't mean to say that. i wish someone would understand how i feel, everyone just thinks i'm selfish or mean but i'm not that. i cant control it. im sorry. now i want to kill myself, i really don't deserve to live. i'm always gonna be this shitty person.