Recently I have been thinking about committing suicide, I know I shouldn't be saying on a random site and should be talking to someone about it but how am I supposed to bring up that I want to kill myself? The thoughts have gotten worse recently, I now know what I will do before ending my life. I'm gonna clean my room, probably get rid of some private stuff so my family doesn't have to see that side of me after I die. I want to say I love you to all my friends and family, give them a hug before I go. I want to talk to my dad again, see how he is going. Give my best friend a pep talk, telling her that she is one of the best things that has ever happen to me and she deserves that whole world. Write multiple notes to friends and family saying how much I loved them.
I still don't know how I'm gonna do it, maybe the thought will come to me soon. I know there is so many things to live for but it's hard to reach them when I'm constantly sad and in pain. I know that this is a permanent solution to a temporary problem but I really can't deal with my mind, my body or my life anymore. The world is fucked and we are gonna die in the end, you either die, someone kills you or you kill yourself, why wait when it could all end.
I'm only 16 and I already want to die, I tell all my friends that they can do it and get over it but I can't bring myself to listen to my own advise.
Who ever reads this, thank you. I believe in you and keep going. I may not live to see another day but I know you can! I'm proud of you for making it through today :)