my days have been vaguely mushing together. I feel this sense of distance from my own body. at the end of the day youre your own best friend as well as your own worst enemy. its quite confusing how youve been with yourself the longest yet still feel so out of touch with everything that encompasses you or makes you, you.
weve always known how perfection is impossible to attain you can only wish to get close, but we never talk about how the distance between the area where one tries to get as close as possible to said perfection, just how vast that said area is, and how physically and emotionally draining the journey is. do we just take everyday as an ongoing struggle to hold on to whats left of oneself? while trying to get a sense of achievement on the standards and pedestals we hold ourselves to. quite frankly i haven't even lived long enough to get a crumb of wisdom or insight into where ones happiness or contentment lies. thus im bound to live a little longer in hopes to even slightly begin to fathom my mortality and all that accompanies it.
i hope youve been luckier than me in this department, especially in these trying times, well to be fair the trying times are always here we just tend to befriend them once in a while. as always i miss you
with love always,