im gonna make this quick. please dont ask me for additional information i just needed to let this out. just a few days ago my best friend broke her sober streak and did xans. she got admitted to the hospital because of blacking out. the worst part is i wasnt even with her, i was spending time with my niece. straight after i heard it triggered me and i also broke my streak and did some drugs. i feel so dirty now. she wouldnt be proud of me. im flying back to where she is right now after her mom texted me, im just.. i feel so disgusting. its my fault that i wasnt there for her and i knew i shouldnt have gone on vacation when she was struggling to keep sober. please dont ask me any questions or anything i just want this to sit here.