i dont know what is wrong, is it me or the people around me?. I feel like my memory is being altered to the one i want it to remain in my memory, not how it really happened. i feel like im missing something. I feel unloved by the people surround me. Ever Since i was a child, i keep trying my best so my mom will say im a good child. When i went to high school i fall in love immeadiately to a person who shows me kindness (girl/boy), but in the end, i ended being betrayed and left alone.whenever im in the group i always being bullied and hated, even when im not doing anything. I feel like my existence irritate the people i am with. i've got a boyfriend thought i feel really loved, but after we made love, he will get up immeadiately and left. He dont want me to tag his pictures to any social media, he dont introduced me with his friends and family. there is one time he pushed me away as we walking in the mall cuz he saw his friends and he pushed me so that he cant be seen by his friends with me. He dont want me to call on his phone. he hide frome anyone whenever we have to talk on the phone. he keep saying he loved me, i choose to believe bcoz i dont have anyone left if he will leave me.I had a work and live far from my hometown. it take months when my family tried to ask how am i doing? then after a few exchange of conversation they ask for money. I gave them and never heard them again until the day they need the money again.i tried my best to joined a group, it went well everyone is nice, everyone is helping each other. so i thought i found a treasure with them, but when the darkness of life came upon me. I see no hope of light coming to a people whom i thought are my friends, they left me, they never call me or texted me, i saw them chatting and exchanging likes and messages and they all ignore me.i am a normal person, i didnt commit any crime or anything, but i really dont know, why everyone turn there back on me.did i really do something bad in my past life and this life is a punishment?living everyday like this, is like living in hell. I dont have anyone i can talk to. its more painful to feel that people hate me because i exist. i sometimes just sit and wish i can hug my self. all i want is to be love. i wish i can feel that someone truly love me.i wish that someone will truly care for me, because sometimes the pain is too much to bare. i wish i am strong. i wish i have a hand to hold on and a shoulder to lean on when i need it the most.i hope when i die people will notice me or even love me even for a glimpse.